The Funny Things Kids Say...

My husband and I took the kids out to breakfast just a few days before Christmas. I am a vegetarian and when ordering breakfast my husband asked if I was going to order breakfast with sausage so I could give it to kids (they love the stuff) and I said sure. My oldest son (4 yrs old) asked "Mommy is going to have sausage?"

My husband was trying to be funny said "no, but she wants Daddies sausage". My son of course had no clue and went about his way. A couple days later we are at the in-laws for Christmas morning breakfast, we start fixing our plates and my son announces.... "Mommy loves Daddies sausage".

Thank god they are all perverts like my husband.

Sing it Girl

We're singing but Jill is falling - Watch more Funny Videos
It always cracks me up watching videos like this. You always have that one person to top it off with a huge bang. The best part is during the whole video she is just sitting there, then she joins in on the singing and totally loses it. Watch closely she even bounces off the floor.

Who loves FooFoo?

On night I decided I was going to surprise my husband and wear a whipped cream bikini. So, I relaxed in a nice warm tub, along with candles and music to get myself in the mood. He came home so I toweled off and got out the Reddi Wip and started applying to new bikini. As I tried to walk sexy down the hall to the living room where he was the whipped cream started melting off my skin. We have two pit bulls and they eat everything including Reddi Wip. So, here I am, strutting down the hall whipped cream melting off me in chunks and trailing me are dogs licking up every drop that falls like they just got the best treat ever! Not so sexy we laughed so hard we were in tears and didn't even have sex that night. We at least the dogs enjoyed my reddi wip bikini..

Cheerlearders Don't Climb

One night after a football game at my high school I tried to get to my locker to get my cheer leading bag, but the school had been blocked off by big metal gates. I decided to try and climb it and jump off since I had done it before with no problem. I needed my bag! Well, right as I was about to jump from the top of the gate, my cheer leading skirt got caught on two sharp metal spikes on top of the gate. I got hung up dangling from the top of the gate by my skirt with my spankies up my butt! Just then, my boyfriend and two male cheerleaders on my squad heard my screams and came to my rescue. When they got there they hurried to get my down they thought I was hurt, but after they realized I was okay they never stopped making fun of me. My whole butt was showing, it was hanging out for the whole world to see!!! I had to tell my coach to get a new skirt and I never heard the end of it. I still get made fun of "remember that one time" it's terrible.

Beautiful Blue Eyes.

One weekend last month a few of my friends and I went to a local Irish Pub for a few drinks. Our waitress is drop dead gorgeous with the most beautiful blue eyes. So of course I was hitting on her all night, I love pretty women what can I say? So I tell her that she has the most gorgeous eyes I ever seen in my life. A few days later was told her left eye was fake beyond my amazement it was a glass eye. I guess I had one too many that night.